Let’s get this out of the way. What school you went to is the most important thing for Brissos.
Brissos will always ask what school you went to in the first meeting.
To the uninitiated, the question might seem to have little relevance to the conversation.
“We’re thinking of having our next holiday in South Africa – the exchange rate at the moment is incredible”.
Ah yes, Brownie took his family there last Christmas. They loved it, can’t wait to go back..…. What school did you go to?
A Brisso will know that this question has relevance to everything. It explains everything about the person, their character, opinions, preferences.
On hearing the answer the Brisso thinks: “Ah just as I thought, a Sydney person”….
or “ahh yes… a BBC boy”.
In which case they’ll respond “Oh so you’d know James Anderson-Marshall? And start a whole conversation about mutual acquaintances and friends.
What school you went to matters. Unless of course you’re from somewhere else. In which case Brissos couldn’t care less, as it means nothing. Do not tell stories about the school you went to in Geelong, Canberra, Shepparton or Ipswich, particularly if it was a Catholic school with nuns/brothers. Brissos will be as bored and irritated as if you were telling them about your travels overseas or the dream you had last night. (See Brissos and “Overseas“; and Brissos and Therapy).
The school you went to in Brisbane is what matters. It is a shorthand code for what kind of person you are. Like star signs. It makes things easy for everyone. It helps identify what you stand for and where you might fit in the lives of other Brissos. Whether you are likely to be fun, interesting, dull, superficial, successful, well connected or not. Whether you are good as a contact, an acquaintance, a potential spouse, a hit man, a cycling buddy, coffee pal, invited into the fold of the book club, or welcome for lunch/dinner at home with family.
It’s not that you will be excluded from being an acceptable Brisso, solely on the basis of the school you went to. There are many acceptable schools (although there is only one true school) and there are many Brissos with histories of Catholic or State Schooling – nevertheless, accepted as ‘one of us’. . (see Brissos and Freaks – “One of us”). Note that those people have usually been discrete and have not gone into any detail about their school histories, except to mention Prime Ministers and other famous people who were at that school.
Those same Brissos, when in the company of their alma mater, will talk of nothing but their school days, revisiting those crazy days at day/boarding school in meticulous detail: the terrible food, the sadist brothers/nuns. In this context they still call each other by their Grade 8 nicknames: Bomber and Muffy.
Brissos who went to Brisbane Grammar have a special category of their own – they are known here as hard core Brissos. They will not only ask you what school you went to at the first meeting, but they will find of way of mentioning their Grammar schooling. Not just at the first meeting, but at every meeting no matter how frequently you see them.
This phenomenon becomes particularly tedious and repetitive in Brisbane corporate functions and board rooms, because there will invariably be several Grammar old boys there, hamming it up. It becomes particularly poignant in the retirement home where the decrepit old boy finds his Grammar references fall on deaf ears.
This part is of course completely made up – what I’d like to think goes on with Grammar old boys. As I didn’t go to Grammar, I wouldn’t know what goes on in corporate functions or board rooms. And who am I kidding – Grammar old boys don’t end up in retirement homes.
