The mandatory Brisbane casualness (see Brissos and compulsory casualness), is most evident in speech, where Brissos will integrate slang, swearing and nicknames, both affectionate and derogatory, into every possible form of address. This will be noticed in a wide spectrum of interactions, from a surprise encounter in a café (‘G’day arsehole’), to a wedding speech, boardroom address, and most especially in parliamentary discussion.
Formal speech is for English tossers. An outsider may not realise that Brissos know how to speak grammatically and with correct pronunciation. They have been taught formal speech and social codes by the great Brisbane matriarchs, but they use this style of communication sparingly and make some effort to sound nasal and ignorant.
Brissos automatically shorten the names of things and people, adding a ‘y’ or ‘ie’ wherever possible. Do not be taken aback if your name is thus shortened: for example if Amanda is immediately shortened to Mandy, Edward to Eddy, Sheenagh to Sheensie. This is a sign of affection; you are accepted as part of the Brisso tribe. Along with brekkie, footy, the telly, a tinnie and a ‘quickie’ (not necessarily in that order).
The suffixes ‘ie’ or ‘ey’ are not the only adaptation. ‘O’ or ‘A’ or ‘Za’ at the end of a name are also acceptable. Warren becomes Wazza, Gary becomes Gazza, David becomes Davo. The great expression ‘Maccas’, which is heard all around Australia but nowhere else in the world (despite MacDonald’s global presence) was coined by Brissos.
If a name cannot be easily shorted, it will be lengthened instead. Thus Anna becomes Go Anna, or Anna Bananna, and a John becomes Johnno.
If you are called Brian your name will remain Brian: this is a general rule and does not reflect on you and the Brissos’ level of acceptance.
Brissos have been known to abbreviate and downsize rather complex social interactions: for example, social introductions are likely to go like this: Duffy, Bazza, Bazza, Duffy. And then the host moves onto a more practical topic….”What are you drinking”?
This perfunctory style is most remarkable with social processes and interactions that are highly elaborate in other cultures; eg. courtship and love. For Italians this may involve the writing of poetry and getting to know the family of the beloved. In parts of India, astrologists are called for to investigate compatibility. American courtship is likely to proceed through a series of dates, in which the devoted male will spend money on the female, take her out to theatre or restaurants, and the female must consult at length with her female friends, analysing various aspects of their date’s suitability or otherwise (a la Sex in the City). Brissos, wherever possible, forego such elaborate social processes, and get straight to the business of coupling.
Male Brissos who have travelled are aware of the time and effort devoted to such enterprises elsewhere in the world, and can thus appreciate how lucky they are to have been born in Brisbane, and that they have easy access to low maintenance women. Some of these cynically call the whole business, McSnatch.
